


shinji's sneakers story

by shinjiikari0



Series: shinji's stories [8]
Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Crack, M/M, OOC, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 11:19:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8100466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinjiikari0/pseuds/shinjiikari0
Summary: shinji: "it's dark i'm scared"kaworu: "don't worry babe i got this"kaworu: [stomps foot]kaworu: [skechers light up](contains: intentional ooc, mild swearing)





	

　　"Hey, Shinji, check out my new kicks!" Kaworu calls out, excitedly running up to me from across the room.  
　　"Please don't ever say that to me ever again."  
　　He looks confused. "Huh? Is that not the hip term used by human teenagers to refer to sneakers?"  
　　I sigh. "No. It really isn't."

**i think it's pretty hip.**

　　Please stop.

**it's true.**

　　"Hm. Teenagers are mysterious creatures." Kaworu brushes off his revelation with a grin. "That aside, I got a pair of new shoes today!"  
　　"Yeah," I say flatly. "You mentioned it a minute ago."  
　　"Ah! However, my previous announcement involved the word "kicks", which I now know is not at all hip," he beams proudly. He sticks his legy out really far and exclaims, "Take a closer look."  
　　... Huh.

 **what's wrong, shinji?**

　　The shoes that Kaworu is wearing... They're brightly-coloured with all sorts of neon rainbow shades. There are glittering, sparkling gems on the Velcro straps and sides. I wonder if they're Heelys.  
　　"Kaworu," I say slowly. "Why are you wearing shoes meant for young children?"

 **ah, yes. this is how one gets cute alien boys to fall in love with them. take notes, fellas.**

　　He gives me a puzzled look, his nose scrunching up and his red eyes widening. Then, his look of confusion becomes one of excitement.  
　　"Well, Shinji, it is quite a long story," he grins. "When I first got to the store, the worker seemed just as amazed as you were! They could not believe that I wanted to purchase—"  
　　All of a sudden, just before Kaworu can deliver the riveting details about how he obtained his new sneakers, the lights in the room flicker off.  
　　"Is this a power outage?!" I shout, voicing my thoughts out of panic.

**take deep breaths, shinji. stay calm. it was probably the hash slinging slasher. or nosferatu.**

　　I—?! How can I stay calm in a situation like this?! It's like the goddamn robot all over again!  
　　I try to locate Kaworu in the darkness, but I fucking can't see shit because the lights are out. The entire room seems to be spinning and closing in all around me. I suddenly feel disoriented, my stomach flip-flopping around inside my body, as if I've been dropped from the top of a skyscraper. I'm not a fan of dark, tightly-enclosed spaces.  
　　While I was having another existential crisis, I didn't notice Kaworu approach me from behind. He puts his hand on my shoulder reassuringly and softly whispers, "It will be okay, Shinji. I have a solution."  
　　"Wh-what?"  
　　I turn around to face him just in time to see what he was talking about. I watch as Kaworu stamps his foot down, the loud noise echoing through the room. The instant his shoe makes contact with the ground, the glittering embellishments on his sneaker light up in bright neon colours. The glimmering of the shining lights illuminates the area between the two of us, projecting warm, glittery hues onto Kaworu's face.  
　　Holy shit I think I'm in love.

**Author's Note:**

> ahh i can't find the original post but this is based on a text post made by tumblr user mhiilk
> 
> i dunno i just thought it was really funny pfffff
> 
> thanks for reading!


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